with Marcia Epstein, LMSW
Lawrence, Kansas, USA
Because of my extensive work with suicide grief, I realize that few of us have learned what healthy grief looks like.
Grief is natural.
All beings will die. We will either outlive, or be outlived by, every being we love.
Grief is not an illness to be cured.
There are no stages, timetables, or closure.
Grief is Love.
Grief is multi-layered. We have grief for the person or animal we love and/or respect, who is no longer alive. We are shattered until we bring ourselves back together in a new, but not less than, way. And our future has changed.
Just as each of our relationships is unique, our grief is unique.
Grief may include learning hard things about our person that we did not know while they were alive.
It may include re-structuring our own life in major ways, if we have been a primary caretaker for the person who died. It may include relief.
Grief is an “And Also.” We are not impacted in only one way. We can feel profound sadness as well as gratitude that our lives had intersected.
Grief is Love.
SOME GRIEF RESOURCES
Note: Resources specific to suicide grief are at Suicide Grief Support
To help people learn how to be supportive of someone who is grieving:
1) From Megan Devine, on social media as @Refuge In Grief, “How Do You Help A Grieving Friend?”
Center for Loss and Life Transition
Support for parents & other family member of children of any age, who died by any cause
Donna Ashworth Poetry
Dougy Center: The National Grief Center for Children and Families
Grief Yoga by Paul Denniston
For Grievers who have Alzheimer’s
Grieving Beloved Pet(s)
~ Center for Loss and Life Transition
“When Your Pet Dies: The Six Needs of Mourning”
by Alan J. Wolfelt, PhD
~ Heal Grief Online Pet Memorial Site
~ Lap of Love Veterinary Hospice & In-Home Euthanasia
Helpful info on their website & services in many areas
~ Paws Chicago, Coping With Pet Loss
~ Pet Loss and Grief info from Kristin Buller
NO LONGER at kristinbuller.com/pet-loss-grief
~ Pet Loss Psychotherapy, see articles on home page
~ Veterinary Social Work Program at University of Tennessee
See resources on pages 2-3 of their Grief Packet
Their Veterinary Social Work Program includes training on supporting people
who are grieving their pet(s)
Refuge In Grief
Still Standing Magazine
for all who are grieving child loss & Infertility
The Columbia Center for Prolonged Grief
Center Director: Katherine Shear, MD
The Grief Toolbox
What’s Your Grief
If you’re able to read about grief:
The book I most highly recommend is Megan Devine’s It’s OK You’re Not OK. Summer 2021 she also released a journal style book How To Carry What Can’t Be Fixed.
If you are at a point with your grief when you realize that you would benefit from support:
And you’re near Lawrence, Kansas, please consider reaching out to me. The best ways to do that are in Support Services
Take really good care!